Driving with eyes glaring on the pavement,
Without even knowing what’s passing by…
My thoughts are paralyzing,
I’m hoping I’m coming home to you tonight.
They say it’s a battle,
Between the heart and mind,
I believe the words that prove this,
As I fight to find the motivation to live alive.
I never understood your desire for smoking,
But right now it seems my mind is ill.
I’m wondering if a drag might help,
With racing thoughts that leave me still.
I want to tackle the world with a fire,
But I can’t seem to break a part the picture into smaller pieces,
Unrealistic expectations take over,
Discouragement slips right in.
I feel as if doing something good is not who I really am.
When I try to pray for clarity,
I hear the devil mock me with a grin,
Telling me that I am phoney.
Making me believe that God is irritated in who I’ve become.
Like my feeble voice has cried out too many times,
Over the same ole’ story,
The same sad struggle…
Like I’m not listening,
Or I’m at fault for this depressive cycle.
Or is there another darkness at play that is sucking the joy right out of me?
I don’t want to blame and point the finger,
I want to grow;
I want to learn.