The Tight Rope

I’m walking on a tight rope,

With feet that are bleeding.

My paralyzed mind is keeping my body unmoved.

No matter how tired I am or how much pain I’ve endured,

It doesn’t matter.

I remain in the same state, in the same position…

However, this is my decision.

And with the power of choice comes freedom, but also responsibility.

I’m not sure which makes me more uncomfortable.

I can blame and point a finger, yes…

But what good would that do?

You see, I look behind me and see the beginning of a rope that I twisted and tied myself…

But as I look ahead, I realize that there is another person hanging on to the end of this rope.

Enabling me, pressuring me, and guilting me into remaining on this tight rope of expectations,

Neediness…

Guilt-tripping me into the tornado of their own despair, uncertainty, negativity…

Boxing me in, leaving me to struggle to balance and thrive…

Placing thoughts of fear and shame,

Based off their own desire to control, manipulate, and keep me right where they want me.

They believe they hold the power,

Because this rope is in their hands.

But maybe I’ve let them control this power for much too long.

I have a choice.

I have power.

And I must take it back.

I will jump.

I will jump off of this tight rope into the unknown,

Leaving this broken relationship behind.

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Wires

Our world is conflicted.

The connection verse an illusion of connectiveness.

One is raw, the other a fake.

I sit still.

There is a whirlwind of people passing by.

I’m completely surrounded by beating hearts and breathing lungs, yet no one will notice me.

Yet I study the ones around me and notice them.

I notice a world that looks quite different than I remember a short time ago.

Its brighter, cleaner, and more sophisticated, yet something feels cold.

There aren’t many living people speaking at all.

They are looking down.

At machines.

Wires…cords…

Everywhere.

Mirroring the very essence of needing connection, through the desperate attempts of finding the empty outlet.

Like the device, we too need connection.

This hazy feeling of feeling connected through this make believe world leaves us confused, discouraged, jealous, and bitter.

It is distorted.

We are not truly being connected with others through this avenue.

We are being misinformed, with the assumptions we make and the comparisons we feed our minds.

Its harmful.

Unhealthy.

We long for true fellowship.

A spoken word directly…saying “I’ve been there too.”

A cycle that seems hopeless…

Yet it starts with the ones like me,

Just a look around the room,

To notice.