Gambling Man

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Hey, gambling man…
What’s the point in gambling to end up in misery?
Don’t you know, it’s not all fun and games.
Life ain’t a gambling matter, don’t you lose your name.

To end up alone….
To end up together….
You think about it and let me know which is better.

You laugh and smile,
As if your life is a box of chocolates.
You poke fun at us, because you think we’ve forgotten.

Forgotten the feeling of living high.
Forgotten the feeling of walking blind.
Forgotten the feeling of shame and defeat.
Forgotten how it feels to live incomplete.

But gambling man,
I’ve been where you are before.
Gambling off things I ain’t living for.
Gambling my time, gambling my life.
Because I couldn’t find a way to live in the strife.

But I came back here not to come back to this game.
I came back here to show you I’m not at all the same.
When all my gambling was done,
I was left in dispair.
I was left with nothing, no one, just breathing polluted air.

I made a choice to start again,
To play a game I’d always win.
So I promised myself and the man upstairs.
That I’d gamble no more, because I’d remember how much he cares.

So there’s hope for you too.
Don’t you see.
I’m a changed man,
This is the true land of the free.

So stop this madness, put down the chips & cards.
I believe in you brother,
Life don’t have to be this hard.

Power-up

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A minute and a half
Is all it takes
To take thoughts
And make them dance
Right off the page

Somethings take effort and others come easily. For me writing is more than fun. It’s therapy. We all have our own gifts to be used and embraced.

The other day I wrote, though my mind and body were extremely tired.
I was desperate for energy.
For anything, to help me capture the little I had, to keep going and grow.
I was so exhausted I didn’t even care to search or try to regain it by the end of the day.
I didn’t know what it was that caused this drowsiness, I just knew that it was taking a toll on me.

So at a quarter to eight, I was already complete with chowing down a bowl of apple jacks, bathed, and cozied up in my bed. I had homework still left to do, things to make, reading to get done, but I heard a still voice tell me, “you have time to work, now is time to rest.” So I let myself go, I let my stresses go, I let my expectations of the day go, and just rested. I soon fell into a deep sleep.

Now it’s morning and I am rested and alert. That homework I needed to get to is now complete, the reading and writing I wanted to do is now started, and although I still have creations I want to make, I know that one of these days I’ll get to it in an appropriate timing. I don’t have to worry about my list of to-dos and it is 100% okay to allow yourself to rest. By resting, it allowed me to tackle the things more efficiently and with more energy. It allowed me to power-up and complete them even better than I would have before.

So if your mind, body, and spirit need rest, don’t fight against it. Your spirit guides you and knows you, even more than you probably know yourself. Trust in it and in God. He knows what’s best. So power-up, he’s got big plans for your life and future.

Blessings,
Lauren

Simple

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The world tells us to be a million things.
Sometimes we may lose overselves.
Take a step back and look around,
are you satisfied?
Life really ain’t that complicated,
You’re either happy or not
You gotta be honest, honey,
that’s when you’ll figure it all out.

Our True Nature

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We are born with “Adam mindsets.” Mindsets that tell us we have to work through this life to survive. Part of this is true, but working alone will not get the ultimate job done. Working and toiling, and proving and striving. Struggling and hurting, and searching and failing. These are parts of life that are hard. That stop us from resting. Resting to restore strength and energy. Resting on someone to help us up and keep going. The someone that we need and that has always been there to carry our load is Jesus Christ. Once you realize that all our work will never add up to the ultimate work he did for humanity on the cross, everything your doing seems a whole lot easier and even more temporary.

I’ve read a book last week that helped me to understand this concept a little more clearly…here is an excerpt from it:

“Once Adam believed that his turning was the good, darkness became his reality. Control replaced trust, imagination took the place of word, and power the place of relationship and love. His own darkness redefined his understanding of everything, including God. He quickly forgot that he had even turned. He is still the son of God, the epitome of creation with authority and dominion, but now asserts this as independent power. Sadly, all of us, as Adam’s children, continue to live in the shadow of death, each of us determining on our own what is good and evil.”

“Without trust in the word or character of God, death is our contribution. That is the legacy we continue to perpetuate, unleashing principalities and powers to serve the beasts of politics and religion. We replace our desire for union, which originates in God, with self-satisfying lusts for conquest. We sanctify money as if it were life’s blood; we turn art into propaganda and weapons into instruments of worship. For the good of the many, we would sacrifice the one, over and over and over, the ends justifying means, all for the good, of course- as we each determine it.” (W.M. Paul Young- “Eve”)

This is in which the nature we are born into, but not the nature we are meant for. Learn and know and grow in the difference. It will change your life. I promise.

God bless. Praying for you always.
Lauren

Behind the Ashes

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She climbed out of the grave.
Dusted of the dark ash that covered her from head to toe.
Her mascara ran down the bluest of eyes
And onto a paper filled with the most painful lies.

She crumbled it up and tossed it in the hole that was once her home.
She kicked at the dirt and let out the loudest scream.
Threw her hands up and dropped to both her knees.

Her strength and passion were empty and cold.
She started to wonder if there was any hope…
Who am I? Where are you? Do you even care?
I gave up, I’m here now, it’s too much to bare!

My past and my future, they don’t make sense.
The pain and the failure, they always win.

After the tears and the chaos settled down,
She just laid there in stillness, waiting to be found.

Her eyes were so heavy, they finally closed.
Up, up and away went her old life as it came out and rose.

She awoke in a place that was unfamiliar.
Her thoughts were finally starting to be clear.
Her shoulders relaxed and her body at peace.
She felt as if something put her mind at ease.

She spoke aloud, though she saw nothing there.
Lord, can you hear me?

As she ended her question, she heard a faint noise….
She looked out in the distance and saw a horse.
It was staring as if it saw her soul.
Naked and bare, with no secrets to withhold.

Captivated, she began to approach.
She reached out to stroke it’s mane.
It willingly accepted her soft touch.
She smiled and embraced it’s loving look.

She took a risk and climbed on it’s back.
She whispered, take me where you want, I trust in your direction.
And off went it’s hooves, and her hair went gliding.
Through the wind and the air, she felt as if she was flying.

The horse stopped at a body of water,
Deep into a forest. .
It smelled of amber and was a mystical sight.
She felt alive and well known,
The sun was so very bright.

She cupped her hand and drank.
The water was so pure.
She looked at her reflection and gasped at what she saw.

What was once a girl with dirty skin was now completely changed, into something so perplexed..
She looked half her age.

Her skin was spotless and radiant.
Her eyes like jewels that sparkled.
Her hair falling effortlessly down her face in perfect form, and on top her head sat the most beautiful rose crown that her eyes had ever seen.

As she looked in amazement, her eyes began to fill with tears.
How could this be?

“I am so unworthy, so underserving,”
Escaped her mouth.

What appeared to be a man behind her, gently placed his hand on her shoulder.
“My daughter, I make all things new. What was once ashes, I replaced with a crown of beauty. This is who you are, and who you’ve always been.”

Thankful and ready to believe those words she had once denied.
She turned around and looked at the gentle face.
She buried her head and trusted.
Every failure, every let down, every obstacle she fought was made right.

She finally realized she didn’t have do try all on her own.
She finally found a place to make her new home.

Living

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To be.
To exist.
To belong to this life.
Or to resist?

To try.
To leave that mark.
To give it shot
Or remain in the dark?

To fall.
To give in.
To let the shame sink down
And claim it’s win.

To rise above.
To seek more.
To realize this life is not “the life”
I’m living for.

Being Known

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Before I was saved, claimed, and unashamed, my life looked and felt much different.

I was afraid, anxious, and fearful of what others thought. I was fearful of anybody rejecting or judging me, so I kept everything inside. Thoughts, ideas, plans, jokes, opinions, and everything that was on my mind and heart, remained right where it began with no way of ever being known. You see, if the small things that I could claim were mine became exposed, sooner or later so would the big things, and this thought alone controlled my life.

Being known completely by others terrified me. Being known by others meant they knew all the good things about me, along with the not so good, vulnerable, shameful things that made me sad. The parts of my life that brought me genuine happiness would be exposed, along with my darkest secrets that I tried so hard to bury and forget. Being known was something I ran far away from and avoided completely. This didn’t always work out so well.

With this mindset, having healthy relationships was almost nonexistent, and I struggled with my identity and purpose. Being known is more than just sharing insight, memories, and pieces of life. It’s making a statement, boldness, confidence, and exclaiming who you are, and owning it. It’s allowing your insides to be your identity. It’s molding relationships that actually mean something. It’s being open to know others too. Humbling yourself to be known completely by another is actually the most important barrier to break to finally be honest, open, accepting, and understanding towards yourself and another.

I challenge you to be more vulnerable in your own lives. Vulnerability is not weakness, it’s strength. Make an effort to be open and be known for who you are by the people around you and most importantly God. He so desperately wants to know you, and I mean all of you. Your concerns, your questions, your heart, your mind. Everything. So don’t hold back. You deserve to be known for who you actually are.